Note how I say “simple,” not “easy.” These are simple concepts, but it may take time and practice to break your old patterns. But, trust me, it will be worth it!

This post originally appeared on Anna’s 1st blog, Annamotion.

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1. Appreciate and Encourage

Show more appreciation and give more encouragement. Everyone wants to feel loved and everyone needs support, whether they’d admit it or not. Sometimes different people respond better to certain ways of showing appreciation than others. I highly recommend the book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, or to learn more about the love languages for any relationship, not just romantic, The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition is also a helpful resource. Knowing someone’s love language can help you to know how to encourage them in the way that would encourage them the most. Appreciation and encouragement can even just be as simple as a “great job!” or a “thank you, I really appreciate that” or “you’re really good at ___.” Tell them how thankful you are to have them as a friend.

2. Learn how to say no

You can still “always be there” for someone while still having boundaries in place. Know when you can drop everything to help out a friend and when it’s ok to say no. You need to take care of yourself or you won’t have much to give to your friends. If you’re the friend who is constantly helping others and not having any time for yourself, it is easy to become burnt out…and then you end up with nothing left to give. Remember to recharge yourself. And the only way you can do that is if you set up healthy boundaries in your relationships. There’s a difference between always being there for a friend who needs you and literally ALWAYS being THERE for a friend who THINKS she needs you ALL THE TIME. Learn when you need to let that little baby bird fly on its own. Trust me, it really is ok. It’s even good for them. You can also be a better friend if you have healthy boundaries in place. This protects both you and your friends. This will create a healthier relationship.

3. Get to know them on a deeper level

Have you ever had that friend you’d do anything for but you realize you don’t know 1 deep thing about them? You don’t know their favorite color (real deep, right?), you don’t know their fears, their dreams, what it was like to be raised in their family, what major challenges they’ve faced, what their beliefs are. There are those friends that we DO everything with and we may even talk regularly, but it never goes beyond the surface level. I challenge you to start asking questions. Perhaps even make it a game. Or share your heart with them and tell them that you want to know them better. It feels really good to know that someone truly wants to know you. Getting to know your friends on a deeper level will create a bond like you’ve never had before with them.

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Perhaps one of these points especially hit home with you today. Did you realize “hey, I don’t encourage and show my appreciation for my friends very often”? Or “I do really have a hard time telling my best friend no…”? Or “wow! I’ve been friends with this person for a long time now and I hadn’t realized how little I know about them”?

I urge you to choose ONE of these things this week to work on with a friendship.

I’d love to hear how it goes! Come back and comment here, if you feel comfortable sharing! Or if you’ve already had experiences with beginning to implement any of these things in the past, I’d love to hear how it strengthened your relationships. Comment below!