Lessons on Change from Stranger Things Season 3

Stranger Things season 2 ended, and we all waited with anticipation for season 3. They announced it wouldn’t be released on Halloween like last time but rather on July 4th. We impatiently groaned and the anticipation only continued to build as they began to release posters and teaser trailers. We had so many questions…like why was Steve Harrington working at an ice-cream shop dressed like a sailor? These were questions we needed answered. Oh…and also I guess the question left from season 2 when we see the Mind Flayer watching over the school in the Upside Down after we hear the song “I’ll be watching you.” *chills*

My husband happened to have the holiday off, so we decided to make it a party for two—something we had so much fun doing when season 2 came out! So we gathered our waffles…

…and cooked our Demogorgon meat…

…and settled in to binge watch season 3 all in one day. Yes, we were those crazy people.

Since this is a personal growth blog (and since I love the real life lessons we can learn from movies, shows, and books), in this post I will discuss the lessons we can learn about change as shown in Stranger Things season 3.

***SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers!***

If you haven’t seen the show yet and don’t want any spoilers, then save, bookmark, or pin this post so you can come back to it later after you see the whole show!

Out with the old, in with the new

Throughout the show, we see external symbols of change as the main characters deal with their own internal struggles with change. The shops in Hawkins are losing business because of the brand new mall that has opened.

Progress often requires some sacrifice. We are seeing similar changes happening today. Most of the malls near where I live have become ghost towns and many of the shops inside are abandoning ship. Fewer people go to the mall regularly now that everything has conveniently become just a click away online. I mean why put in all the effort to get dressed, put on makeup, get in your car, drive to the mall, search and search, and trek back home when you can sit on your couch in your jammies, surf the web, and have it delivered to your door in just a couple days?

Sometimes change is worth it for the sake of a better future…but are ALL the advancements good? In Stranger Things, the local businesses struggled to stay open and many were losing their jobs…but new jobs also became available because of the mall.

Will we one day lose too much for the sake of progress? Or will we continue to find new ways to adjust to change and thrive like we have before?

 

Changes of Growing Up

When Dustin comes home from camp, he finds his friends aren’t as ready to hang out all day as he was. Things have changed. Will seems to be taking the changes of growing up the hardest; he’s not ready to give up the good times they had or the dynamic of his friendships. He tries to get his friends to play Dungeons & Dragons like old times, but they keep pushing it off. Lucas and Mike are more focused on their girlfriends. Will makes one final attempt, dressed as his character and prepared with an epic campaign. Lucas and Mike don’t take it seriously then rush to end the game. Will and Mike have the following conversation…

Will: You guys are never in the mood anymore! You’re ruining our party!

Mike: That’s not true.

Will: Really? Where’s Dustin right now?…See? You don’t know and you don’t even care. And obviously he doesn’t either and I don’t blame him. You’re destroying everything, and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?

Mike: El’s not stupid. It’s not my fault you don’t like girls…I’m not trying to be a jerk, okay? But we’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?

Will: Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.

Later on we see Will tearing up his picture of him and his friends when they dressed up as Ghostbusters for Halloween and destroys Castle Byers.

With each new stage of life, we’re faced with growing pains as we’re forced to adjust. Some are too ready to grow up, while others try to grasp onto “what once was” with tight fists for as long as they can. But as I talk about in this post, saying goodbye to old good things means saying hello to new good things.

The changes of growing up and entering new life stages are inevitable. We can either make ourselves miserable, clinging to what we can never have back (like those guys who still wear their letterman jackets, hang out with only their old school buddies, and constantly brag about their glory days back in high school as if that still means anything to who they are today)…OR we can embrace the change and enjoy the new stage we’re in while we can before that stage passes too.

 

The Change of Loss

Barb in season 1.

Bob in season 2.

Billie, Alexei, and Hopper in season 3.

Our beloved characters have dealt with a lot of difficult losses (I STILL CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS! WHYYY, Stranger Things writers, whhyyyy??? My poor broken heart).

Poor Joyce, especially. Every time she tries to open her heart to love, something goes wrong. Her previous bad relationship. The death of kind and dependable Bob Newman. And now the death of her close friend who was there for her through all of the Upside Down craziness, whom she had just finally given a chance by asking him on a date.

And we can’t forget dear El. Her whole life has been a tragedy. A constant struggle of isolation, fear, and pain. Her first father figure was a monster. Experimenting on her. Manipulating her. Controlling her. Now she has to deal with the death of the only man who was a true father to her, as well as move away from Mike and most of her friends.

When someone close to you dies, it changes everything. A new routine must be learned—a routine without that person who was such a big part of your life. It sucks. For months (and sometimes even years) to come, you may find yourself slipping back into what you used to do when they were still alive. Trying to call them on the phone. Mentioning them in conversation as if they were alive. And then it hits you—you remember and all the pain comes flooding back in again.

When their life ends, your life doesn’t. You must carry on. Eventually going back to work, continuing on with life, finding your new normal. It will take time, it won’t be easy, and it’s, of course, a change no one wants to deal with, but I hope we can face it with the strength and bravery of Joyce Byers.

 

Change in Perspective

I can’t write a post on Stranger Things season 3 without mentioning some of these powerful moments of growth and learning.

Nancy and Jonathan

Nancy has lived a fairly privileged life and hasn’t had to learn some of the hard life lessons Jonathan has already had to learn. On the other hand, Jonathan doesn’t know what it’s like to always be dismissed and looked down on for being a woman. Though these differences are a point of conflict in their relationship, it provides them both with a new perspective.

Nancy: That was humiliating.

Jonathan: Yeah, the real world sucks. Deal with it like the rest of us.

Nancy: You don’t know what it’s like.

Jonathan: Neither do you.

Murray and Alexei

Murray has a hatred for Russians and in earlier seasons suspected them to be behind Barb’s disappearance when he was hired by her parents to investigate. But when Hopper and Joyce bring Alexei to Murray so he can translate his Russian, he begins to develop a friendship with Alexei. He even encourages Alexei in his dream to become an American citizen and is greatly pained by his death, blaming himself for leaving him to get the corn dogs. It’s easy to group people together as the same (e.g. “all Russians are bad”), but once we get to know people one on one, we begin to see them for the individuals they are.

El and Max

After Mike lies to El, she goes to see Max, and they begin to develop a deeper friendship together. Max shows El how to figure out what SHE likes, not what Mike or Hopper like. El discovers her own sense of style and gets to know herself better. She learns what it’s like to have a close female friend, something she especially needs as a girl who’s mostly ever been around guys—from the scientists who tested her to Mike and his friends to Hopper. She learns a valuable lesson in learning to know herself so that her identity won’t be lost in any kind of relationship.

Steve and Robin

I love Steve’s character development through the 3 seasons of the show. I’m sure many fans would also say they went from hating to loving him as he somehow became the Single Mom of the group. After high school, even though he’s grown a lot as a person, he’s still struggling to get over high school popularity. Steve and Robin gain a bit of perspective from the opposite sides of the popularity spectrum and realize they aren’t as different as they originally thought—everyone struggles with wanting to belong and be loved.

Robin: Even though we losers pretend to be above it all, we still just want to be popular. Accepted. Normal.

Steve: If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great. Seriously it just baffles me everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about—it’s all just bullshit.

We also can’t forget about wise Dustin who earlier had told Steve, “Now that you’re out of high school, which means you’re technically an adult, don’t you think it’s time you move on from primitive constructs such as popularity?”

 

Change is Hard!

As many dads can relate, Hopper does not handle the emotions of change so well, especially when it comes to his daughter. Instead of dealing with and accepting the growing pains of change, he turns his fears and emotions into anger and tries to control Mike and El. Joyce advises him to stay calm, treat them with care and respect, and establish healthy boundaries. She even helps him come up with what to say to them. Hopper really tries, practicing it over and over…but when it comes time to give his speech, Mike and El snickering and whispering to each other sets him off, and he lies to them and then threatens Mike.

You gotta give him credit for trying. Handling emotions well, especially after years and years of bottling your feelings, is not something you just learn overnight. It takes time and practice. Likewise, change may always be a difficult thing to face, but it can get a little easier each time if we work on our mindset and learn to accept it. Change is hard, but it’s also a necessary part of life and growth. The pain shows us we’re living our lives.

Hopper’s prepared speech at the end of the show sums up the lessons on change from Stranger Things season 3 perfectly.

“I know this is a difficult conversation to have, but I hope you know I care about you very much. And I know that you both care about each other very much. Which is why I think it’s important to establish these boundaries moving forward, so we can build an environment where we feel comfortable and trusted and open to sharing our feelings.

Feelings. Jesus. The truth is for so long I’d forgotten what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place, in a cave, you might say. A deep, dark cave. And then, I left some Eggos out in the woods, and you came into my life. And for the first time in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy.

But lately, I guess I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night, making triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas at sunrise, watching westerns together before we doze off. But I know you’re getting older. Growing. Changing. And I guess, if I’m being honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change. So, I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try to maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that’s naive. It’s just not how life works. It’s moving. Always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s sad. And sometimes it’s surprising. Happy.

So you know what? Keep on growing, kid. Don’t let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from them, and when life hurts you (because it will), remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave. But, please, if you don’t mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches.”

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What were some lessons you learned from Stranger Things season 3? What were some of your favorite moments from the show? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

 

Want to check out my other lessons from film posts?

• Lessons from Spider-Man: Far From Home
• Lessons from Avengers: Endgame
• 3 Life Lessons from Shazam!
• 3 Life Lessons from Captain Marvel
• 9 Life Lessons from Wonder Woman
• Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life Lesson
• 4 Life Lessons from Doctor Strange
• A Lesson on Strength from Star Trek Beyond
• 6 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Captain America: Civil War
• 6 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Batman v Superman