Each Star Wars Day I am covering a lesson from one of the Star Wars movies or shows. In this post we will discuss what Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones can teach us about healthy and unhealthy attachment.
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Attachment theory is a psychological concept that explains how we form emotional bonds with others. Let’s give a quick summary of the Attachment Styles:
- An adult with a “Secure Attachment Style” has a generally positive view of self and others. They feel like they are both capable of giving and receiving love.
- An adult with an “Anxious Attachment Style” generally has a positive view of others and greatly fears abandonment. They will anxiously hold tight to those they love.
- An adult with an “Avoidant Attachment Style” generally has a positive view of self and a negative view of others. They try to avoid intimacy in order to maintain their sense of self-reliance and invulnerability out of an unconscious fear of getting hurt.
It’s a great lens through which we can understand the complex relationships in Star Wars. So, let’s take a closer look at some of our beloved characters and their attachment styles.
Anakin Skywalker
First up, let’s talk about Anakin. Unlike the other Jedi who are taken to the Jedi communal life as infants, Anakin is a hesitantly made exception despite already being 9 years old with a strong attachment to his mother.
In a commentary on Attack of the Clones, George Lucas says this:
The fact that everything must change and that things come and go through his life and that he can’t hold onto things, which is a basic Jedi philosophy that he isn’t willing to accept emotionally and the reason that is because he was raised by his mother rather than the Jedi. If he’d have been taken in his first year and started to study to be a Jedi, he wouldn’t have this particular connection as strong as it is and he’d have been trained to love people but not to become attached to them.
But he has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation. And it feeds into fear of losing things, which feeds into greed, wanting to keep things, wanting to keep his possessions and things that he should be letting go of. His fear of losing her turns to anger at losing her, which ultimately turns to revenge in wiping out the village.”
Anakin is born to a single, unconditionally loving mother, lives his first 9 years as a slave, moves away from everything and everyone he’s ever known, quickly loses his new mentor, Qui-Gon Jinn, and holds his dying mother in his arms. It’s easy to see how Anakin develops an Anxious Attachment style with a growing obsessive fear of losing anyone else he loves. His circumstances—particularly his mother’s death— activates his anxious attachment further as he possessively clings to Padmé and seeks any way possible to keep her safe.
“You are in my very soul, tormenting me,” he once tells Padmé when he is consumed with infatuation and desperately wants to be with her. His feelings aren’t just a deep love. It evolves into an intense, obsessive, and blinding attachment that makes him irrational, volatile, and controlling.
He continues to bend further the belief he once told Padmé: “Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love.”
Padmé Amidala
Padmé, on the other hand, shows a Secure Attachment style. She falls in love with Anakin, but she is able to think rationally about what this relationship would mean for each of them. She keeps the bigger picture and her commitments in mind. It is only when they are faced with potential death that she finally and fully confesses her love to Anakin. In The Clone Wars tv series and the Revenge of the Sith movie we will continue to see Padmé balance her wisdom and duties to the Republic with her unconditional love for Anakin. She will try to help him find security and balance within their relationship, but he is already too far lost in his fears and obsessive attachments.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Now let’s talk about Obi-Wan Kenobi. His attachment style was a bit more difficult to pinpoint.
Though Kenobi is prone toward perfectionism and anxiety (especially as seen in his canonical books), I believe he has a predominantly Secure Attachment style.
However, the Jedi Order’s philosophy of detachment gives him a few avoidant traits at times as he resists his deeply empathetic and connective nature to try to do what’s “right” (or at least what he’s grown up to be taught is the right way for a Jedi to live, which in itself even shows his secure attachment to the Jedi).
In Revenge of the Sith Obi-Wan emotionally tells Anakin that he was like a brother to him; however, throughout Attack of the Clones we see him talk condescendingly to Anakin (i.e., “my very young apprentice”), actively keep his emotions in check, and show only very little signs of affection. Kenobi faces a lot of inner pressure and turmoil as he tries so hard to do everything right while handling an impulsive Padawan he took on way earlier than a Jedi normally would because of Qui-Gon’s death. This plus the growing moral ambiguity with the Jedi Council he had once fully trusted puts an immense strain on even his Secure Attachment style.
What Can We Learn About Attachment?
What does Star Wars: Attack of the clones teach us about attachment? Well, here are some valuable lessons we can glean…
1. The Importance of Self-Awareness
Understanding our own attachment style can help us navigate our relationships more effectively, just like how self-awareness helps our beloved Star Wars characters grow…and, well, the lack of self-awareness that lead to the Dark Side of the Force. So, y’know, develop your self-awareness so you don’t turn into a Sith Lord that murders adorable little children.
2. The Importance of Boundaries & Balance
Padmé’s secure attachment style demonstrates the importance of maintaining independence and boundaries within relationships, while Anakin’s journey reminds us of the dangers of becoming too attached and losing oneself. Padmé beautifully believes in and loves Anakin unconditionally, but that doesn’t mean she will let go of her strongly held morals. She can bring balance to the two without giving up her own identity and character.
But, y’know, when I say “balance” I don’t mean like how Anakin brought balance to the force…
3. The Importance of Communication
Poor Obi-Wan is given so much responsibility so early. He handles it by trying to look the part—acting confident despite his own self-doubts. However, his attempts at confidently teaching Anakin humility and caution drive a wedge between them. Maybe if he admitted his self-doubts Anakin would have been given more reason to believe he was superior to all other Jedi. Or perhaps his vulnerable honesty would have been a a meaningful, connective, bonding, and softening moment between them.
I believe that in real life many problems can be worked through and relationships strengthened if only we have the courage (combined with our growing self-awareness) to have honest and open conversations with those we desire peace or closeness with. The more we understand someone and they understand us, the more empathetic and secure we can feel with each other. Even if we disagree or make mistakes, we can know we are safe and unconditionally loved.
Conclusion
Though the Jedi philosophy on attachment in this time period is underdeveloped at best, there is a lot of wisdom to how an intense, possessive attachment can cloud your judgment, make you lose sight of the bigger picture, or cause you to make reckless decisions. I believe a healthy balance involves a deep, empathetic, committed love without giving into fears of potential loss by hastily clinging to or avoiding love and intimacy.
A Secure Attachment to strive for has healthy self-esteem, doesn’t require constant reassurance to feel valued and worthy of love, is open and honest, is comfortable developing trust and intimacy with another human being, is emotionally self-regulated, can see people positively unless proven otherwise, has a capacity for interdependence (rather than codependence), and is comfortable with setting boundaries.
Attachment theory offers us a fresh perspective on the deep emotional connections and conflicts we witness in the Star Wars saga. By exploring these attachment styles, we can better understand our own behaviors, relationships, and paths to developing a more secure attachment.
Your turn! Comment Below:
Do you agree with these attachment styles for each character? What is your own attachment style?
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