How do you handle loss and failure? This is a theme we see in the first part of this beautiful conclusion to the Infinity saga, Avengers: Endgame. In this blog post I’ll discuss how the 6 remaining Avengers deal with their loss and failure.
***SPOILER ALERT: This post contains spoilers!***
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In the beginning part of Avengers: Endgame we see the aftermath of the snap that wiped out half the universe and how each of the remaining Avengers handle this loss and failure. Granted, this is a HUGE loss and failure, but I’m guessing you could see a reflection of yourself in one of their reactions. Do you try to bury yourself in work, fall into self-destructive habits, displace judgment onto others, separate yourself from anything associated with your loss and failure to make a new life for yourself, help others rather than yourself, or do you not let loss and failure stop you from becoming a better version of yourself? Let’s talk about these different ways we see each Avenger handling this loss and failure 5 years after killing Thanos.
Holding on & Burying Yourself in Work
We see Black Widow hard at work—all alone in the Avengers facility. The Avengers became family to her and she cannot move on from losing half of them. (Later on she sacrifices herself for the Soul Stone because she cannot bear to lose one more person she loves) She fights to keep the mission alive and hold the remaining team together.
When you experience the pain of loss and failure, do you try to distract yourself by keeping busy with work? Do you hold onto the past even though things have changed?
Numbing & Self-Destruction
Props to Marvel for this very well-kept secret about what happens to Thor! 5 years later we find him as a fat, drunk, recluse playing video games and hiding from the world. He was determined to be the one to kill Thanos to make up for his failure to stop him from snapping his fingers, but that victory was not enough to rid him of the guilt and shame, nor did it bring back those who were dusted. So he numbs his depression by drinking, hides himself away from everyone (except for the couple friends who would let him be), and refuses to let anyone even mention the name of Thanos around him. He views himself as a failure, so he lives that way. It’s not until he has that conversation with his mom that he realizes HE gets to CHOOSE who he wants to be—not some past failure.
When you experience the pain of loss and failure, do you hide from it and try to numb it in unhealthy ways? Do you let yourself go? Do you let past losses and failures become your identity?
Displacing Judgment
When we see Hawkeye, he is on a murdering spree—killing off criminals. The world was dealt a great injustice, and Clint cannot let it go that so many good people (like his family and his friends, the Avengers) were taken while bad guys remained. They could not stop Thanos, so Clint tries to serve “justice” elsewhere…to the extreme.
Do you believe the loss or failure you experienced was unfair? Have you ever tried to take it out on someone else, especially someone who you felt deserved it?
Disassociation
After they kill Thanos, Iron Man uses his second chance to retire from the hero work and live his life with Pepper and start a family. He knows he got lucky by both him AND the woman he loves surviving the snap, so he decides to make the most of it. He ignores the past loss and failure, but rather than letting himself go like Thor did, he creates a new and beautiful life. When his friends come to him with a potential way to undo what was done, he initially says no because he’s lost hope and doesn’t want to risk messing up what he has now.
When you experience loss and failure, do you disassociate from it and/or try to move on from it to create a whole new, safer life?
Helping Others Instead of Yourself
When we first see Captain America five years later, he’s helping a group of people heal and move on from the loss. This is so fitting with his character—always serving or saving others. He may not be able to save his friends, but you can count on Cap to do whatever he can to help others. It’s kind of a mirror reflection of Hawkeye. While Hawkeye is focused on the evil that remains, Cap is focused on helping the good people who remain. However, Steve makes a comment to his friends that he’s helping others to move on while he himself never can move on.
When you experience loss and failure alongside other people, do you focus on trying to help them move on and grow through it over yourself?
Continuing to Grow
Out of the 6 of them, I think Bruce Banner seemed to handle the loss and failure the best. In Infinity War he says he needs to work things out with the Hulk. Even after all of the loss and failure, he holds to that and continues to move forward. He even finds a solution to his issues with the Hulk and discovers a way to achieve balance between the two sides warring inside him. He also seems to be relatively chill throughout the movie, compared to the others. I think he’s able to have more peace about the external situations because he’s first made peace within himself.
When you face loss and failure, are you able to make peace with it, move on, and continue to grow?
How do you handle loss and failure?
Do you distract yourself with work, do you let yourself go and try to numb yourself, do you displace judgment onto others, do you separate yourself from everything associated with your loss and failure and try to start new, do you help others instead of yourself, or do you not let loss and failure stop you from becoming a better version of yourself?
We all handle it differently. Though there are definitely unhealthy ways to cope with it that should be avoided, I don’t think there’s only one “right way.” We are all different people, so sometimes we need different things to help us process, deal with it, and grow. And often times we may not even know what we need, so it’s important to give ourselves grace and patience as we figure it out. Though some may need time alone at least for awhile, it’s extremely beneficial to have friends you can talk to (especially those that share your pain) during times of loss and failure. Don’t isolate yourself, and don’t be afraid to reach out. Even superheroes need friends. 🙂
Share your thoughts in the comments below!
What did you think of the movie? What were your key takeaways? Any thoughts you’d like to add on this topic of loss and failure? I’d love to hear it and have a conversation with you, so comment below!
Want to check out my other lessons from film posts?
- Lessons from Spider-Man: Far From Home
- 3 Life Lessons from Shazam!
- 3 Life Lessons from Captain Marvel
- 9 Life Lessons from Wonder Woman
- Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life Lesson
- 4 Life Lessons from Doctor Strange
- A Lesson on Strength from Star Trek Beyond
- 6 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Captain America: Civil War
- 6 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Batman v Superman
I love this post! I loved that most of the characters all react differently to their failure and I think we can learn a lot about ourselves and how we personally deal with failure.
Yes, exactly! 😃
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! 💜