A Year in the Life Lesson

Friday November 25th was quite an exciting day in the Reel house! We’ve been planning this special day since the moment I got my husband hooked on Gilmore Girls! And we planned to do it right! — we bought Luke’s Diner and Dragonfly Inn mugs, we tried to dress the part of Luke & Lorelai, we ate like the Gilmore Girls (though unfortunately the closest gluten-free Chinese place happened to be closed because of the holiday weekend! *tear*), and we made a day of it!

Though I am still processing, I can say that I enjoyed this 4-part revival! So much nostalgia and excitement as each old character made their first appearances! And of course the suspense as we wondered which of Rory’s old boyfriends (if any!) she would choose! (#TeamJess) I think Paul was my favorite running joke through the whole thing; that’s ok if you don’t remember him 😉

And then…the last four words!!!!!

But I’m not going to talk about that today. In today’s post I’d like to share some life lessons from Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. There are several themes we can pull from, but I’d like to focus on one of the biggest running themes: navigating adulthood.

Warning: This post contains SPOILERS! I suggest you watch the Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life before reading this post.

This post originally appeared on Anna’s 1st blog, Annamotion.

Rory has entered an age when quite a few of her peers seem deep in their full-time careers living successful adult lives, while many are facing “failures” and still trying to figure out life…like she is.

Here are 10 lessons we can find in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life about the ups and downs of navigating adulthood.

1. Compromise, but never give up your passions.

Lane sadly tells Rory that Zach was promoted. This type of news is usually one brought in celebration, but this job is totally not his style, especially with the added button-up and tie. So not rock-and-roll. But he does it for his family. However, we do see that Hep Alien is still together and we even see Zach and Lane doing a duo gig at The Secret Bar. It goes to show that, though you can no longer do whatever you want like when you were a kid without responsibilities, you don’t have to give up everything. Compromise and sacrifice where you can when it comes to family and making it in the world, but don’t lose who you are or what you’re passionate about.

2. “I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.”

Paris states this Ralph Waldo Emerson quote as she and Rory return to their old high school, Chilton. We may not remember every lesson we learned in school, but so much is a part of us–so much lives on–even made us who we are today. Books, lessons, and experiences all shape who we are and who we will become. Respect and appreciate that.

3. Returning to places & people of the past can bring up past feelings.

Paris seems to be her normal fierce, confident self, even bringing the students she talks to at Chilton to tears, but as soon as she catches a glimpse of Tristan, her old high school crush, all of the old feelings of insecurity and self-doubt flood back. In her freakout in the bathroom she shares that her briefcase is empty; she only brought it because she thought it would make her look important. Even with all of her accomplishments, she still cares about what others think of her–especially when it comes to the people of her past.

I’ve experienced a similar feeling. Returning to the town of my high school and seeing old classmates at a distance. In one particular instance I caught myself feeling extra self-conscious of my outfit, my hair, my makeup, my presence…and then I realized…this isn’t high school! High school popularity no longer matters. I’m confident in who I am, remember Anna? You were even valedictorian at a college! People love you and think you’re the bees knees. You’ve matured. You’ve grown up. I had to stop and remind myself that this is not high school anymore. This is not then. This is now. Let the past be the past. Remember who you are now. Don’t let past people or past events cause you to regress in all that you’ve grown up to be.

4. Interests and pursuits change. And that’s ok.

Doyle is now a screenwriter, Rory is writing a book, Paris works for a fertility and surrogacy center. In the past seasons of Gilmore Girls, is this what we knew they would pursue? No! There is so much pressure to choose your future from a young age, but the truth is: things change. Opportunities. Circumstances. Even YOU. Rarely do you pick your one thing from an early age and actually do that one thing through your entire life. That is very rare, my friend. So don’t be afraid to take a detour from your original plan. You may find it’s an even better thing for you! Or it may help you wait out or transition to the thing you really want to pursue more than anything.

5. Some pains and discomforts are worth it; some are not.

Rory works with a well-known (or really more infamous) author to help her writer her biography. Her first interview article with Naomi is a huge success, applauded by many throughout the show, and Rory is excited after her 1st meeting with Naomi to talk about the book proposal; however, as time goes on, the rumors seem to come true–Naomi is impossible to work with! Rory is completely ok with it when Naomi’s attorney calls to dissolve their contract.

Rory takes the job on spec for GQ writing about lines, a job that proves to be boring but worth it. She also takes on the job of editor at The Stars Hollow Gazette without pay and with only two not-so-helpful older workers because she wants to save the paper when no one else is willing to do anything about it.

You will find in life that some pains and discomforts are completely worth it, some are hard but necessary, and some are not worth it. Pain and discomfort is inevitable and you just have to get used to it. However, you need to learn what you’re willing to put up with and what you are not.

6. Feeling lost.

“I’m feeling very lost these days.” When the world is open but the opportunities seem to be closed, there can be much confusion. Everyone goes through a period of feeling lost at some point in their lives. Will you let it get you down or will you keep working toward your future?

7. “Peaks and valleys, kid. The older you get, the more you have.”

The first valley you face seems the deepest. Rory hasn’t experienced much failure in her life when it comes to her career, so when she faces a period of unemployment and homelessness (and lack of underwear), she feels like a failure. Her mother in this quote tells her that peaks and valleys are a part of life and the older you get, the more you face. In high school, and even college, a low point usually isn’t all that low, but get out in the real world and the valleys of life can be much steeper! Rory is experiencing those deeper adult valleys for the first time. Lorelai in all of the ups and downs of her own life is an experienced one to reassure Rory that life isn’t just one straight plane.

8. Don’t lose confidence, but don’t get cocky.

When Rory’s other options don’t seem to work out, she turns to a position with a website that has been “stalking” her and she believes going in that she has the job–no doubt. But her confidence kept her from thinking to prepare any kind of pitch and she fails her interview miserably. She gets a call a few minutes later in the lobby that she didn’t get the job. Rory is upset, feeling like they fooled her into thinking she had the job–but she was the fool for getting cocky. Just because a job seems to be “lower” than other jobs you’ve had in the past doesn’t mean it’s “beneath you.” Sometimes when you’re in a rut you have to take those smaller jobs and take them with a grateful heart until that dream job is available to you. Be confident in who you are, your accomplishments, and your skills, but don’t get cocky. There IS a difference.

9. Spit out by the real world.

“The Thirtysomething Gang…It’s a group of kids, all about your age. They’ve been to college, then out in the real world and it spit ’em out like a stale piece of gum and now they’re all back in their old rooms, like you!”

While the Thirtysomething Gang enjoys their T.V. shows and sharing milkshakes, their parents have meetings to discuss their kids’ resumes, trade job tips, and support each other. Lorelai even gets an invitation to join the parents of the Thirtysomething Gang. Rory is not ready to accept this label and works hard to not be associated with this stereotype (even down to frequently having to answer “I’m not back!”).

10. “This is a rut. It’s temporary.”

“You’re a writer. Ruts are normal.” Words of encouragement from Jess–a man who knows from experience of being a writer that there will be ruts. Rory feels people can smell her failure, but Jess assures her she’s only in a rut and that ruts are normal and temporary. This seems to echo the wisdom of her mother: “Peaks and valleys, kid.”

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In what ways do you relate to Rory and her adulthood-journey? Or share a favorite moment from the revival.

 

Want to check out my other lessons from film posts?

• Lessons from Spider-Man: Far From Home
• Lessons from Avengers: Endgame
• 3 Life Lessons from Shazam!
• 3 Life Lessons from Captain Marvel
• 9 Life Lessons from Wonder Woman
• 4 Life Lessons from Doctor Strange
• A Lesson on Strength from Star Trek Beyond
• 6 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Captain America: Civil War
• 6 Life Lessons We Can Learn from Batman v Superman