You are a dreamer. You would gladly pour yourself a warm beverage, cuddle up in your pillows and blankets, and sit in the silence and solitude to let your mind wander for hours. Your inner world is an endless imaginative land that you love to visit to rejuvenate your soul. This is the dwelling place of dreams. BIG DREAMS. The kind of dreams that could rock your world if you could just muster up the courage to pursue them. Perhaps you’re held back by fear of what others would think of you. Perhaps you talk yourself out of it because of your overthinking. Or perhaps your dream involves putting yourself way outside of your comfort zone, pushing your limits, and using up a ton of your extroverted energy reserves.
For the introverts out there with big dreams, this post is for you!
This post originally appeared on Anna’s 1st blog, Annamotion.
Anna Reel is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.
The Power of the Introvert
I don’t remember when I first learned of introversion, but I know I had numerous misconceptions of what it truly meant to be an introvert due to the media and how most of the world seemed to react to me and other introverts. I remember a time in high school when I began feeling really down about myself. I felt weak and incapable. Everyone else seemed so natural at fast-paced chitchatting with each other and seemed to have endless supplies of social energy. I loved people, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get past being labeled as “shy”, “reserved,” “quiet.” (ugh! I felt a punch to the stomach just typing those dreadful words. Can you tell I LOATHE being labeled that way?)
These misconceptions fed into my struggle of never feeling good enough. There were many things in life that I could practice and easily develop my skills in, but with speaking in public–I felt like no matter how hard I tried I had a handicap I could never get over.
Then I read a book and my whole perception changed!
I read a book called The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World
So I wanted to start this post off by telling you (if you’ve never been told before) or reminding you (if you have sadly forgotten) that as an introvert you have important and wonderful strengths. I highly recommend The Introvert Advantage for any introvert to learn more about yourself and your unique brain wiring. Now let’s talk about some helpful tips I’ve learned as I chase down my dreams as an introvert.
Tips for the introverted dreamer:
1. Remove the stinkin’ labels!
I think it is important to know your personality type, but never use it as a weapon against yourself. For example, never say self-limiting things like “I’m too introverted to achieve that goal” or “I’m an introvert; I can’t chase big dreams like extroverts can.” Chuck out that bucket o’ lies right now! Remove it from your mouth. Remove it from your thinking. It is false and it is a horrible reflection of the beautiful and imaginative being that you are.
Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase spoken to you by others. Well they’re either being ignorant or a jerk or both. Don’t label yourself or let other people label you with anything short of the wonderful person you are. Now, I think there are “dreams” that are, indeed, “false hopes” (i.e. all of those people who can’t sing that show up on American Idol because no one had the kindness to tell them that singing wasn’t their particular strength), BUT I think everyone has a dream that they are designed and positioned to fulfill. Which brings us to the next two tips…
2. Recognize your strengths.
If you’re someone like me who constantly doubts yourself, I think this will be the most crucial tip for you: learn and recognize your strengths. Focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses is a sure way to boost your confidence. Remind yourself what you are good at. Don’t downplay them. Don’t compare. Recognize them for what they are: strengths.
3. Recognize your weaknesses.
You might be surprised to hear me say that it is also important to recognize your weaknesses. Now, let me point out that there is a difference between recognizing your weaknesses and using your weaknesses as an excuse. Some weaknesses you have now may always be a struggle for you; however, that doesn’t mean they cannot at least be strengthened. You can develop your skills. But gain an understanding of what doesn’t feel as natural to you, what makes you feel uncomfortable, and what things commonly come with great difficulty.
4. Work with your strengths and around your weaknesses.
Now that you’ve recognized both your strengths and weaknesses, act accordingly. There is definitely a time and place for working on developing the skills you are weaker in, but sometimes you need to give yourself a break by working around your weaknesses and working with your strengths. For example, if you are horrible at or get completely stressed out over speaking to a group, avoid hosting webinars or speaking opportunities as your primary activity. It could be the occasional activity to strengthen your skills and your courage, but devote the majority of your time to the things that come more naturally to you. The things you’re good at. The things that energize you.
5. Push your limits…
Let’s talk about those times when it is beneficial to strengthen your weaknesses. Socializing and other considered “extroverted” activities are often like a muscle, especially for an introvert. The more you avoid people or spend time alone, the harder it will be to get back into the groove of speaking easily. You’ve let your muscle weaken. On the other hand, making it a regular practice to speak in public or do that other “extroverted” thing you hate doing can actually strengthen your skills in those areas.
6. …but don’t exceed your limits.
On the other hand…You are human. So you have limits. And as an introvert your extroversion is not only like a muscle, but it is also like a battery that only has so much social energy to give. You can reach 0% and be ok (as long as you immediately go to recharge), but go into the negatives and you could cause more harm than good. One time I pushed myself and extroverted so hard for so long that it took an entire month to feel like myself again and regain all of that social energy back!
This varies for each person, so it is important to learn how much energy you have to give to your external world. Then work with that. Use your battery and strengthen your muscle, but don’t overdo it. Finding a good balance for you of exerting, recharging, exerting, recharging will help you be able to live your life to its fullest rather than pushing yourself too hard and having to spend more time recovering.
7. Manage your energy. Schedule accordingly.
We manage our time. We manage our money. We manage our resources. But we often forget that our energy level is something to develop management skills for as well. If you know something that must be done to move forward with your dream takes extroverted energy, then make sure to schedule the time surrounding that activity with more energizing tasks, less energy-draining tasks, or breaks for recharging. For me, I know I have the most energy in the morning and afternoon, so I schedule more energy or brain draining activities for those times whenever possible. If I know I have a Skype meeting with a client or someone I’ve hired for freelance work, I schedule buffer time before the meeting to prepare and time after the meeting to process and/or recharge. My schedule is so busy at the moment with heavier brain work tasks that I try to make sure to only schedule 1-3 such energy-draining activities per week so I can be my most effective and productive self.
8. Find a fellow dream-chasing introverted friend.
I now have two really close, not only just introverted, but INFJ (my MBTI) friends and they help me stay sane. When you meet resistance with either people labeling you and discouraging you or meeting the resistance that comes with your specific weaknesses, it’s so refreshing and encouraging to talk to someone who gets it! It’s the same for fellow dream-chasers. I can talk to my friends about my blog or other dreams I have, but it is the friends who are going through a similar thing that I love talking to the most because they understand the struggles. They understand the joys. They understand what I’m talking about! So seek out that friend. I happened to find both of mine online and we’ve been best friends ever since. Every time I talk to either one of them I breathe out a satisfying sigh of relief because I feel understood and I feel encouraged. Those are both very important things.
What other tips help you as an introverted dream-chaser?
Love this so much! Thank you! I’ve always been seen as an extrovert, but I’m not. I just did things I had to do. Many of my dreams are small to others, but to me they are huge! Anyway, thanks again!
“Manage your energy. Schedule accordingly.” YES!!! I’ve had to learn how to say no without guilt, but it’s made a big difference in my energy.
Great post with so many things people need to hear!
This such great and helpful advice!! Thanks so much! I never thought of managing energy but makes perfect sense! Great advice!