Copycats and Comparisons

Is it bad to copy or compare yourself to others?

In this series, The Real You, we’ve been answering the question “What is Authenticity?” by breaking it up into 4 posts.

What is Authenticity? It is…

• Knowing who you are
• Matching Your Priorities to Your Principles
• Not trying to be someone else
• Perhaps not everything you thought it was (7 Misconceptions about Authenticity)

Today I’d like to propose to you an idea that there is a difference between trying to be like someone else and trying to be someone else.

When asked “is it wrong to compare or try to be like someone else”, I think most people’s gut reaction would be to say YES (no matter if that person does it on a chronic basis or not). But it may not be quite as black and white as you’d think.

And to explain that, we first must take a look at the difference between trying to BE someone else and trying to be LIKE someone else. This is also the difference between wanting to be more like someone else and wanting to be less of yourself. And, note, a person may not be on either side; it can be a combination of both. But one comes from admiration and seeking growth, while the other comes from a disliking of ourselves.

But the truth is: You can admire and aspire without losing yourself.

It is the difference between what is a healthy admiration and an unhealthy idealizing or idolizing. One is authentic; the other is unauthentic. It is healthy and true to who you are to be inspired and empowered by your “role models” to make a positive change in your life. However, it becomes unhealthy and lessens your authenticity when you begin to idealize that person and begin wishing you were that person instead of yourself.

Here’s a chart to help visually show the difference between what is healthy and what is unhealthy.

healthy

unhealthy

Does this make sense? You can be inspired and empowered to make a positive difference in your life because of how you perceive your “role models” without losing any part of yourself or wanting to be that person instead of yourself.

It is natural for us to become more like those around us or those we look up to. My mom used to tell us that she could always tell which friends we had just been hanging out with that day by how we talked and acted when we came home. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn says that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

That’s why it is critically important that we surround ourselves with the right kind of people and seek out mentors who are people that we actually want to be more like. Find people who inspire you, empower you, and even challenge you. And BE that person who others can look up to and be proud to learn from and become more like.

On the other hand, I’ve also experienced the unhealthy kind of comparison. Through these years of blogging I’ve played the comparison game and it discouraged me and filled me with such self-doubt. “They’re so much better at this than I am”, “I could never have as many followers as them”, “they make it look so easy”, “why should I even write and blog? It’s all been done before”, “they can do it way better than I ever could.”

But I came to realize that no one else is ME.

No one else has MY voice or MY story. Sometimes it takes just the right voice for something to finally click.

Have you ever had that frustrating moment when you give a friend advice and they shut it down..but then another friend comes along and gives them the exact same advice only worded a little differently and your friend thinks that friend is a total genius!? “Like I just told you that and you didn’t think it was a good idea!” Yeah…

Sometimes it takes just the right timing or just the right words or just the right voice or just the right relatable person to say what everyone else has been saying to help someone finally get it. For it to click.

So never discount YOUR voice. Your life. Your unique strengths and weaknesses. Your life experiences. Your wisdom. Your story.

Your life is needed, my friend. It is unique. It is important. So stop trying to be someone you’re not. Stop letting yourself be discouraged by people who aren’t YOU. Stop comparing your chapter TWO to someone’s chapter TWENTY. The road you take may look different. The way you view the world may be different. Your skill sets may be different. But that’s an awesome thing! That’s a NEEDED thing!

A step into authenticity and growth is when you stop trying to be someone else and finally embrace YOU.

If you’d like a little help digging deeper into this issue, download my free eBook, The Real You: The Ultimate Guide to Knowing Yourself and Developing Authenticity, that includes a worksheet for this topic of “Copycats and Comparisons.” And you can gain free access to it (and other free resources on my secret resources page) by filling out the form below and confirming your subscription.

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What struggles have YOU faced with comparisons or trying to copy someone else? I’d love to hear! Comment below.